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In fact, a blog is EXACTLY like a beard. You forget about it for a little while, then it gets ratty and needs an overhaul.
Something new, something wonderful is coming, but it’s only about 1/2 done right now, just like my beard.
The surprise ISN’T a new look for Amuse or Bemused. Stay in the know! Keep your eye on your mailbox, or your RSS feed, or your iPhone, or whatever way you reach out and touch the internets. The beard will soon be ready. So will the blog.
Bumper stickers are fighting the fight against drunk driving, Since we’re heading into a holiday weekend that is sure to be replete with people eating too much burnt meat and drinking too much booze, the fight against dangerous driving behavior is being taken up once again by this powerful slogan:
Who’s the Communication Genius who came up with this?
The consequence of drunk driving is…getting…pulled…over?
It’s like a store that has a shoplifting problem, so they post:
No Shoplifting. Violators will be glared at.
Or putting up a sign at a shark infested beach that says:
No Swimming. Big Fishies here.
Or putting a sign outside Chernobyl that says:
You Might Not Want To Go Inside, It’s Kind Of Warm In There.
Or having a bridge wash out and warning:
Consider Turning Around or You May Ruin You Car’s Alignment.
Or being in Gilder and putting up a sign proclaiming:
Stay Out Of Fire Swamp. Little Flames, Sand, and Rodents Within!
So, sometimes I think that maybe it would be nice to get paid like a lawyer. Then I remember that, to do that, one must live in the world that lawyers live. This netherworld is also known by its technical term: The Deposition.
Or You CAN Win for Losing, Except Everyone Will Criticize You.
I watched about 2 minutes of The Biggest Loser a few years ago, so it’s fair to say I’m not a fan. But I couldn’t help but notice today that the internets are all a-flutter with the shocking news that this season’s winner, now prepare yourself, lost a lot of weight and is skinny now!
If there’s anything that’s true in the United States is that we know that we’re a bunch of fat slobs who desperately need to lose weight, unless we lose weight, in which case we’re too skinny and need to gain weight.
It’s a lose/lose.
Biggest Loser contestant Rachael Frederickson won the contest yesterday by dropping from a starting weight of 260 pounds to a final weight of 105 pounds. She lost the equivalent of me in the seventh grade.
People all over the interwebs immediately expressed their shock and dismay. I know it is possible to be too thin, but let’s have a little perspective folks. She entered a weight loss contest. To her credit, she still has more body fat than a body builder…or a super model…or a Survivor contestant…or Mick Jagger. Click for commentary from Mick Jagger
Where would we be without scientists? They discover great things, they really do, but everybody can’t be Joseph Salk.
In a quest to carry out its mission to provide “all the news that’s fit to print,” the New York Times gives us this article in which scientists and their rats reveal that Inactivity Changes the Brain.
There are two awesome moments here. The first comes after the author spends 95% of article applying rat experiences to humans and then reveals that “Of course, rats are not people.” Thank you scientists, that’s very comforting, though I’m certain the inverse is sometimes true.
I’d tell you all about the study, but there is too much, so let me sum up: scientists studied active rats versus inactive rats and found the lazy rats’ brains less responsive, compounded by the fact that the lazy rats had a higher incidence of heart disease.
Wow. Tell me more! Don’t be a rat! Click!
When I was a kid and I saw that my mom had a bottle in the bathroom cabinet labeled “Eau de Toilette.” I could tell from the look and stench of the bottle (to a 7-year-old boy, perfume is a stench), that it was perfume. Mom told me that Eau was water in french, so it was literally toilet water. I nodded and said “Ok,” but I was thinking, “That’s the dumbest name for anything that I’ve ever heard.”
No longer true, 7-year-old JT, no longer true.
None of this makes scents to me. (See what I did there? Wow! Olfactory pun!) First of all, what is the smell of peace, as in peace signs? Woodstock after the rain? I don’t take a shower to accomplish that. And the other two?
Lot’s of folks are posting their Desolation of Smaug reviews, and this second installment in Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy is enjoying even better response than the first. I was thinking of posting my own detailed review of the film, having seen it at the midnight showing Thursday night, but then it occurred to me that a guy who would attend the premiere dressed as Peter Jackson might not be considered the most objective observer.
Our local Hobbit premiere has become a kind of “Geek Super Bowl” for my family. It’s an investment of time and money, but it’s worth it to have a Fun Event to look forward to. I’m glad to be old enough to embrace my inner nerd and just enjoy it.
As you can see, Peter Jackson and I are now practically twins separated at birth. Granted, my half of the “twin-dom” involves a lot of hair product and a beard full of mascara in order to achieve the desired effect, but that’s the magic of movie making, right?
Not everyone at the theater was impressed by my costume.
But, by and large, I got enthusiastic responses from my fellow theater goers. Since we arrived several hours early (procuring the honor of being fifth in line), the theater management began to refer to me as “Mr. Jackson,” though I would have been fine with “Peter.”